Top 5 Reasons The Government Is Close To A Shutdown

5. They're a bunch of whiny cry-babies that can't really get anything done
4. They're trying to appeal A-Rod's Suspension
3. They're waiting on the Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. to secretly get the job done for them
2. Most of them are being influenced by Trevor from Grand Theft Auto V
1. They had a Breaking Bad marathon before the final episode

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