Optical Illusions

Everybody knows about beer goggles and from a distance looks. If you don't, let me enlighten you on these unfortunate truths!

As a child, I was told to always "Look before you leap" and "Look twice". These were things our parents and grandparents told us to protect us... More like, "I've already made that mistake and you don't wanna do it too!" that was the basic gist of it. As a kid, we don't really listen to those words until we get a bit older. Take the ripe old age of 18, old enough to buy smokes and join the military but, not old enough for beer and liquor. That's the first illusion we really learn from: "You're old enough to do what you want!"
The second is after we turn 21 and can legally purchase alcohol: "All the girls get prettier at closing time!" Thanks to Mickey Gilley for that song cause it's very true if you've had one TOO many to drink. Many a night from 22 to 24 I spent my nights shutting down my local bar and seeing some ladies walk in "god-awful ugly" and walking out like Angelina Jolie! Ladies, you've done the same thing! Don't say you haven't! I've seen lots of girls (in groups, of course) watching guys and talking bad about them at the beginning of their night, then all of a sudden... Julie's dancing with Goober and they leave together. A real Coyote Ugly moment! Guys get the far off look and we'll say to our buddies: "Man, she's so hot... I'm going in for a closer look!". Then when they get close enough you see them go from standing tall to dragging their knuckles in a depressed reality of UGHHHHH! Girls have done it too but the girls just keep on walking to the bathroom. The long distance look and the beer goggles are the all time winners of Life's Optical Illusions!
"HOLLA, IF YA HEAR ME!"
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